“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.” -- Ann Voskamp
This quote relates to my life right now and always. My God has changed me. He has filled every inch of my heart that even my ribs cannot possibly hold all of it in. He has filled every inch of me. I am spilling over with His love. I am spilling over with His peace. I am spilling over with His strength. I am spilling over with the life He has given to me. The life that was freely given to me because He sacrificed His only Son. I am so filled that nothing can stop me from overflowing. There is an ocean of Him gushing all around me and that it is engulfing me daily. My ship has a new captain. I am sinking in His grace. I was empty and then continued to empty myself as He came with gentleness and fire to fill me. I am filled. And I am being filled.That weight I feel in my heart is not heavy because nothing is there. That weight I feel in my heart is heavy because He is there. All I want is to pour out what He has given me so that I may receive more of Him. "I can empty" because He makes me full.
This weekend has been nuts. I've worked and scrubbed toilets more than I ever thought I would in my whole life. In one frickin weekend. Never sleeping long and always going going going. But the thing I've gotten out of this weekend the most is that I love people. I love people so much. I also love God. He is just so good and so much bigger than I'll ever know. Every November my church holds a conference called Saturate. Teens from all different states come up to the tiny little town of Lima in Upstate NY just to be with other teens to seek God's face. It blows me away to see how many teens show up. God is so good and He's moving in this up and coming generation and I'm so excited to get to see and experience was He has planned. I'm so encouraged by the sermons that are preached and the life all this kids have. One of the sessions really hit me today. In an good way. It was about how we need to start really going after God. How we need to seat ourselves in front of The Lord. We need to begin to have our hearts burn of Him. Until we burn with the fire. We need to be on fire for who he is. We need to have a hunger for Him and His word and all that he is. And we need to ask for more. We need to go deeper and get more and more of Him. These teens want that and so do I. This weekend has been a chaotic but amazing weekend. I'm so excited to use what I've learned from this weekend for the rest of my life. I'm so excited for keep running toward The Lord. To keep asking Him to show me more of who He is. To show me more of His glory and how holy is He. Seeking his face every moment of the day and seeking Him in everything I do. Serving Him with every bone and breath in me and telling people about his goodness. I'm so privileged to be a vessel in bringing Jesus to people to have Him quench their thrist and end their suffering. I don't deserve what he has for me but I'm so grateful that He wants to bless me anyway. He so graciously loved me first so I want to spend the rest of my life loving Him back. I don't want to just taste a drop of Him, I want the whole ocean of Him.