Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Yesterday, I realized that I've been suffering from depression. I realized it's something I've been battling with for a long time. I thought for the longest time that something was wrong with my sadness. That I didn't have any reason to be sad. For me, It's really easy to excuse it, I say things like: "oh I don't have money and that's why I feel like this " "oh I'm single and I'm alone" or more recently "oh I miss my family" But in reality, I am depressed. There's nothing else to it. You can be sad, miss someone and be depressed. You can be happy, surrounded by people and STILL be depressed. The issue is that depression wants you to try and fake it. You go crazy trying to be normal and act like everything's okay. You try and tack it on being sad about something when it's really just depression. Depression tries to steal your sadness - honestly it makes you think you can't be sad or that sadness isn't normal. Sadness is a part of life, it's temporary. That's where depression fools you because depression is lasting. It tries to steal your joy, your driving force. It tries to steal your peace, because it wants you to be at war with yourself. Depression more than anything wants to steal your very own mind. Depression keeps your mind is in a constant state of confusing, and you can't understand why you are going through what you are going through. Yesterday I learned that for years I've been battling depression but I also realized that I am healing. The Holy Spirit really began a new work in me - I could feel it. I felt the fire of God in my chest. I felt the weight on my soul become less. I know that when I raised my hand and was honest about what I didn't see at first, I was able to start the process of not letting depression take me out. I really just wanted to honest with everyone, because NO ONE should go through this alone. Please remember if you're soul is tired that it's not forever. Remember that joy comes in the morning. Remember that you shouldn't just cope with your depression. You should be free from it. It's gunna be hard, it's definitely not going to be pretty, and it's going to take a lot of bravery. You're going to have to fight for your joy. You FIGHT for that beautiful mind! Your soul may be tired but you can also tell it to fight! Because the victory is yours! We are more than what we feel, we are more than what we do, we are more than people think. We are MORE! You are more!